Vicars find out what couples want from church weddings

Church weddings across Nottinghamshire are due to get a facelift following some innovative new training sessions which will help clergy give an even better service to couples marrying in church.
The National Weddings Project, which was set up by the Church of England a couple of years ago, has embarked on a national training programme for clergy across the country, with the aim of passing on research about weddings and what couples are looking for. The practical training sessions also help clergy consider how they might adapt or improve their approach to weddings in the light of the research and provide new resources for churches to give to couples

Clergy Training Officer for the Diocese of Southwell & Nottingham, the Revd Kon Apokis, said: “These training events have been really lively sessions for us all and keep us in touch with what couples are thinking and what they are looking for as they plan their wedding. There have been some fascinating insights passed on and it has led to some good discussions about different approaches and opportunities as we engage with people who may never have been in a church before. I’m sure that this will help us offer an even better service to those who want to be married in church.”
Clergy from a selection of churches across Nottinghamshire attended two days of training with members of the Wedding |Project Team in October and there will be a further day of training next week on Tuesday 16th November 2010 at Goosedale Conference Centre at Papplewick.

Some of the training covered views and information on wedding photography and videos, welcoming children, costs, music, wedding preparation and what is special about a church wedding, along with support and care for couples after the wedding day.

Research with couples commissioned by The Weddings Project, showed that nine out of 10 rated their church wedding experience as ‘good to excellent’ and that marriage is still seen as a serious decision by 85% of people who are married and some 59% of those who aren’t. The research also revealed that more than half of the those polled believed a church wedding felt more ‘proper’ than a non church ceremony. But it also revealed that people were not sure if they were allowed to be married in church and weren’t sure how to go about it or who to approach to find out more.
In response to these findings the Weddings Project set up a new website called www.yourchurchwedding.org   which helps couples plan their wedding with resources, facts and information all freely available. The new site was a surprise hit with couples and now draws a third of a million visitors a year (27,000 unique visitors a month) In the first year and half since it was launched it was used to plan more than 28,000 weddings -  about 90,000 Church of England weddings taking place during that period.

Couples who have a vague recollection of songs they learned to love at school or Sunday school can listen online, view the lyrics, make their choices, choose their Bible readings, before printing out a complete personalised order of service to take to their vicar as a first draft discussion starter. It even adds their names into the vows, so they can see exactly the promises they will be making.

Hymns are the site's biggest draw, so the online planner is being refreshed this summer with additional wedding favourites like Jerusalem; Lead Us, Heavenly Father, Lead Us; O Worship the King; and Tell Out My Soul.
In addition to the new training, resources and website the regulations for marrying in church were also changed in 2008 to simplify them and make it easier for couples hoping to have a church wedding.

The Bishop of Reading the Rt Revd Stephen Cottrell says that golf clubs and country houses should watch out!
“Getting married in church just got easier. People who are serious about getting married naturally want a marriage ceremony and a setting which is equally serious. Only the church provides this; but until now it has been difficult to get married in church unless it is in the parish where you live or where you regularly worship. But from today those who have a connection with the church can be married in the church where they have that connection. This is good news. Loads of people want something only the church can offer: God’s blessing on their marriage. Now it will be easier to provide it. Golf clubs and country houses, you have been warned!”

Under the previous marriage law couples had a right to marry in the Church of England in the parish church where one or both of them lived whether they were baptised or not, and whether they were churchgoers are not. To marry in any other parish required a special licence or six months of regular attendance followed by entry on the local church electoral roll.